"Sign in Stranger" ...Steely Dan "The Royal Scam"

SIGN IN STRANGER

Have you heard about the boom on Mizar Five
People got to shout to stay alive
They don't even have policeman one
Doesn't matter where you been or what you've done
Do you have a dark spot on your past
Leave it to my man he'll fix it fast
Pepe has a scar from ear to ear
He will make your mug shots disappear
CHORUS:
You zombie
Be born again my friend
Won't you sign in stranger

Do you like to take a yo-yo for a ride
Zombie I can see you're qualified
Walk around collecting Turkish union dues
They will call you sir and shine your shoes
Or maybe you would like to see the show
You'll enjoy the Cafe D'Escargot
Folks are in a line around the block
Just to see her do the can-can-Jacques

CHORUS

Love or leave her, yellow fever
Sure, it's all in the game
And who are you
Just another scurvy brother

CHORUS

The Naked Truth

The Naked Edge of truth

A friend to no one hollow and worn the cold wind toys with shreds of something once warm, the heart worn like a badge upon the sleeve now just adorns the corpse of a life with no leave. No prison that the eye can see but stone cold solid just the same , I wonder if I'm a victim or just to blame? coward or hero? its all the same and pointless to draw another breath but never granted the release of death left to envy and suffer all that’s left on the naked edge of truth

I was once a stone cold killer but now just a joke , a broken boy soldier at the end of the rope …ease the muscle, and take a toke, fondle the Iron that once held truth , but now a mile marker for damnation along the route that ends in nowhere with wreckage strewn, corpses mock you while they lay, “here you’ve come and now you’ll stay dashed upon rocks of naked truth .

A fool for no one , but a dullards heart is mine, There is no more love in you only fruit of a bitter vine and blackened root , honesty once was enough but now becomes the core of any problem. A wound a threat for orders sake ,when a soft touch would be all it takes but you reach to stroke but wound and rake for the Iron hand is all you’ve known , and you deserve to be cast aside and left alone.

She want's me to go but fears the leap of saying so , an act of betrayal or what’s right for her? In her mind its all a blur , no ones ever innocent but she comes close and the fear is being alone , the addiction of my presence is it just a warmth to fill the void but there’s nothing here in spirit just an empty broken shell of a man whose constructed his own cell with stones from the edge of naked truth. She knows this is not her fate to share my frozen spell ,and she can sees through the cracks in my facade there is a cold and barren hell...

The Highways long and your second home , having in youth walked it adrift and alone ,glance aside at a strangers face shown , looking for another killer just like you, where do you go and what do you do on the naked edge of truth?

"so you stick your neck out once again , looking for a thrill or maybe a friend or just hoping this time someone cuts the vein and bleeds you dry and ends the pain , but Pray you don't die face up , to stare at heaven through the cold , gray morning rain lying in a puddle on the edge of naked truth ..." me actually

Choosing my religion.


Sufice it to say that although not “special” as I preach, I do like to think that the hand of the god who created me made me somewhat uniqe. And here is what I mean . Upon moving here to the hinterlands and away from my beloved south and its culture and quisine I after a few years of tasting local BBQ …and I use the term loosely I decided to simply break down and make my own …I will note here that the nephew of a friend while serving in the armed forces requested some …remembering it from a time when he attended a summer BBQ here at the house. I was humbled , I was honored , I was overjoyed , I made a case with special lables expressing my love for all armed service personel after all they are my brothers and sisters.

Now as ridiculous a comparison as that may at first seem lets strip it bare. My heart craves something missing from my life. I am devoid of acquiring it in my local economy. So I say screw the economy and create it myself … I change in essence my world… Of course it needs to be considered that this is hearts and souls and real issues thus making it an awesome responsibility. Yet for anyone who has ever , helped a friend , saved a life , nursed one of gods creatures back to life , shared a good laugh …one so hard you almost piss yourself, felt the joy of a new love or relationship , or just held a loved one close allowing them to mourn a personal tragedy. You know the rewards.

DOWNSIDE: In spite of my lethal gaze and my crusty armored exterior inside me is a LOT of love …I have never used it as I should have , I will tell you in all true conviction that my first clue was Betsy (remember this because there’s a point to be made later) over the years she has nursed my heart to an extent where I was relaxed and able enough to deal with difficulties and trials as the man I always wanted to be. I was tough yes , I was Brutally honest yes , but I was also lacking love …love brings things like positive reinforcement and discipline is just tyranny without it(like raising kids, everybody loves my kids but thinks me too ridged with them. Well they didn’t fall out the box that way …but still since my fathers death I have been a bit unstable. The reason why is because with his passing the angry fire in my heart died …left a void a big gaping hole and like a mammoth engine with no fuel I kind of ground to a halt. I am an emotional creature who hates to go to the pound because …well I want to save them all …I will have to learn to temper my emotions in order to survive myself.


There are literally hundreds of religions represented in my area …here lately I have been studying scripture with a lovely lady named Faye , she is an older black woman who only gained access to me and my home because she has a light …a light that comes from people who truly believe , honesty and yes in terms love. You see I was given a gift to see things (well duh) often unseen by most …now mind you no I am not a Jehovah witness. I tell Faye all the time “ I love you , and enjoy our time …yes I will take and read your books but just understand …I will NEVR wear the T-shirt or carry the club card. There has been actually a very positive effect from this …Reading scripture can be very enlightening as long as someone understands that no matter how strenuously someone insists that THEIR scripture or Bible is the word of god direct and pure …all of these volumes have been handled and edited by humans. Ignoring completely historic struggles for power and dominance the simple fact is we …as humans are fallible! Thus it is that I respect all religions in a spiritual sense but abhor the politics.

My wife and I had decided at one point that we were going to commune more , expand our contacts and make friends … you see like I tell Faye …I don’t need a temple or a church or a hall to speak with God …usually I find God relaxing out on my deck in fair weather by my fire pit. I sit I smoke a pipe , I relax and I let things flow thru my mind …when I can do this sort of half conscious meditation I find solutions to problems that minutes before were crushing my heart. I live by without even really needing to study them the original ten commandments …well with my own belief it isn’t “thou shall not Kill) sorry from King David to Hitler these stories tell me that although it should never be undertaken lightly …sometimes you have to kill …I guess some might say that’s not very priest like by the same token what would be the point of trying to guide someone through life and problems if we do not recognize the reality of the human conditions.

So we went to the universalist Unitarians because we had herd they were more liberal minded but when getting there we had to be educated to the history of the church , the philosophy and when volunteering for projects to help raise funds they were soooo strung out and the money collected went into a central kiddy and was divided among all district churches with the percentages sent back depending on how the church was deemed to be of value to the union as a whole …my response to this was WHAT? …I don’t give a crap about a church in Kansas …no offence I’m sure their lovely people and all but I sat on the side walk baking my brains out for MY church , MY congregation …how shall we be able to rise when the churches own tithe slows or outright prevents this??? So we walked away

I love something’s about every religion I like the solemnity of the catholic cathedral , the majesty even though financed by blood ventures it does provide an air of exclusivity when your in its presence …easier to focus …easier to remain on task …if the bloated child molester at the front would shut up and stop speaking Latin…I don’t see how anyone can talk to god while were doing deep knee bends every 10 min or so …up down up down , domine this domine that …for gods sake quit shoving your crap down peoples throats and let them reach god on their own terms … He/ She is not YOUR God …God belongs to US …all OF US …no matter how you see him in your heart or your minds eyes … spiritually we all walk a path of our own discovery and the job of a priest should simply be to act as a guide and companion along YOUR path …not herd you into moralistic pens

Thou not as well defined this is what I would want my legacy to be lets break this down more …than we shall make a mental sketch of how to build a church and what a church should be what say you ?

or " Ogre's reformation of forgiveness , life , and glory of the human soul"

"ut priest necne ut priest! Ut est question?" or "To priest or not to priest! that is the question?"


I recently have begun to feel the urge to become a man of the cloth , yes I know it will seem comical to many who know me and I understand , I only ask that you laugh politely with my blessing and not make a spectacle as you will find that though you may be laughing “at” me I am actually laughing “along” with you! Your completely right in many ways it is ludicrous and frightening in its ramifications so feel free I agree with you on many levels. Then again , it is funny how over time our perspectives change.
I have spoken of late of pain and isolation , mourning my youth and pitying myself. I suppose it is part of a process that may take the full extent of a lifetime to achieve. Yet I also have been given to understand by meditations of late …be they self motivated or not …that as I always do the thought of responsibility becomes my key concern. Considering the path of your life and trying to retrace the steps that have brought you to where you are can be a useful tool if one does not get lost. Inevitably if you ask God “why” or whom was responsible for this and that your reply will simply be “you were dear” In my minds eye I have heard this reply many times.
Shamans and druids of my ancestry, as the customs of my tribal decadency dictates would tell you of the spiral cave. The beginning of any meditation or Journey is the practice of making those things you see and experience “real” although a relative term there can be a common link of human experience often shared by all of us but ignored because it is common or mundane this is always a mistake.
Let us take for instance the following exorcises I first discovered in a volume on Celtic beliefs and magic practices by a Mr. Stephen Blamiers. if you do this it should be done in a quiet place free of distractions. Call to mind a simple image of a fruit …lets say an Orange.
Most all of us should be able to claim this experience ( yes ,yes… you can substitute the orange for a tangelo or Clementine or even an apple if this is more to your liking. Any solid object will do.) hold it in your hand try to feel it in your minds eye , the smooth yet dimpled coolness of its skin . With your nail scratch its surface , feeling the gentle resistance as the rind gives way and curls beneath your nail, smell the burst of citrus oils pervading the air and confirming in your mind the act of what you have just done. Feel then the skin give way as your fingers employ greater force breaking deeper into the pith and releasing the fruits flesh inside. Do not fear failure here …the cat knocks something over , your belly grumbles ( which would actually indicate you may be doing it very right) don’t forget this is in your mind and here and here alone are you king.
Just begin again when you can settle yourself . There is only YOU and your Goal no repercussions no shame and no failure. Do not fear either the folly you may assume to be your own incompetent nature . In the waking world I am often too rushed to the point that I will break savagely through the skin and damage and release the juices of the fruit beneath , I may stain a sleeve or front of your shirt in the real world ten minutes before you must leave for work and it can be viewed as a tragedy here in your mind there is no time and no tragedy.
Instead there is, is only experience , and the depth of the experience both glorious and sensual as you feel the spray of coolness on your skin , as you smell the deepening aroma of the reward you seek. Explore this for it is the link between you and the God or divinity of your understanding. This exorcise should in no way offend any GOD for in reality all you are doing is SLOWING time to enjoy the experience of the interaction of you and reality as one cannot in the waking world. This exalts the Glory of creation and in no way detracts from it. After all your not :“praying” to the orange its glorious because it is in essence a “part of the reality of God” not divine in or of itself , it’s a friggan fruit …If you are worshiping it in a religious sense …then please leave my pages you’re an idiot and I can do nothing for you! Your reality NOT mine …and so we move on .
The point is to FEEL the experience generating it from your mind and memory in intricate and minute detail until you can feel it exactly as if you were doing so in reality in the real and waking world thereby breaching the boundary of your meditative / waking reality. What you can perceive as “real” holds validity in your mind. Yes I know what the hell does oranges have to do with a spiral friggan cave and what fucking use is this in the real world any damned way?
Well good question …no really it is and one you SHOULD be asking yourself …its your perceptions …YOUR reality and in order to take true responsibility you should ask …it is really not just your right but also your responsibility. It is part of what is wrong with this world and a subject I will address later but we cannot expect to be the free entities we are meant to be , and experience what we truly are handing over responsibility for the sake of convenience to the world at large. However I truly digress here.

Ohh yes the questions…okay why is the orange related to the spiral cave I seem to have forgotten ???…simple nothing really except that to undertake a journey without a depth of experience is pointless. The spiral cave in theory exists at the center of your awareness (lets say “mind” to keep it simple which is always best) it is a tunnel through time and space to the center of the heart of the “God of your understanding” ( for convenience from this point on I will simply say “God” you insert that which holds meaning to you ) the Orange is simply a training tool , you learn to focus sharply just as a soldier does. They train to ignore the concussion of an explosion knowing that if you are experiencing it you have survived it , you carry your buddy or another dummy who pretends to be wounded so that all of the sensory experiences that you may face becomes common and familiar to you . Being familiar it increases your odds of being able to fight blind animal panic and not only accomplish your duty or tasks but also bring home the only real win possible in war …survival. This is the inherent wisdom in making the orange real.
From there you begin to address this cave of which I speak directly, alone on a beach of cold stone and not sand . There is a rocky cliff in front of you whilst the sea is at your back again feel the polished stones , sea spray smell the salt and sea …make it real. Both cliff and ocean are too vast and immobile to negotiate so you cannot go back and you cannot avoid what is before you … welcome my friend to the experience of the NOW. You must address the cave mouth in the cliff before you. I do not describe in much detail from this point on because from here it is YOUR journey …I can and will discuss with any of you actually reading this what you see and feel but will not dictate to you what you will see for we are all different and MUST ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY for what we see …pleasurable or frightening . I can only say this and it brings us back to my earlier statement of being lost …the cave is designed into an ever elevating ever curving path turning back into itself …along its path are many doors …it is best to leave them be for inside them are your hopes and fears , your dreams and your nightmares and for some maybe even glimpses of other lives other existences , the one thing you must accept is that they are all true …no matter how bizarre or alarming. You are safe from the things here themselves …only visions they have no power to harm you unless YOU assign them such a power. It is recommended that if you do open them not to step into the reality of what you may see , stand rather on the path side of the sill and observe and contemplate only …then resume your path. To do so we can become lost within ourselves for this is where you are now in your minds eye . This is the one place you cannot be allowed to deceive or lie to yourself . After all if you are walking a true path why would you?
Okay back to the second question which you may have assumed I forgot … I very well could have but this time did not …“what fucking use is this in the real world ???” Again the answer is simple …and the same “training” it is in fact akin to what many real world advisors will tell you to do …simply envision only you don’t “create” this one you simply observe what has been made by you already and ponder this to better know yourself. To understand “WHY” you destroy your own relationships , “WHY” you overstock your pantry , “Why” well just about anything we ask ourselves or actually of others …see what many “special” people have understood through out time is that the answers to the external can really only be found through understanding the Internal. You see many women are by most standards beautiful and yet can seep aloof and well bitchy …truth is you assume her beauty is a key when really it is no more than a prison …she’s locked on the treadmill she’s locked in the bathroom on the scale or purging. She , nor you , nor I will ever really experience the true glory of who and what God really intended her to be …not unless she walks the path to her true self and faces the demons ghosts and realities both pleasant and vulgar.

In reality this will translate into you more easily abandoning your computer , cell phone, twittering , and twattering …to whatever. Teach YOURSELF to slow your daily experience to enjoy more deeply the experiences laid here for you by the divinity you name. To realize that God like ant parent really should want nothing more for you than happiness where ever you can find it. From the brownie you snuck …I mean you know later you will regret it anyway so hell enjoy it in the moment, the brief seconds you get to hold the glory of your love , your child to look at their tiny hands and feet look into a more innocent soul not scarred and frightened as we often become and absorb the wonder of life and the message of the true nature of innocence hidden there you rarely stop to witness.

Realize this is not “NEW” this is not unique , I am in no way or reality Jesus ..or Buddha if I’m a reincarnated anything its probably a “Joe the plumber” not and Alexander , Socrates , or Cleopatra. Just a man who somehow is a relative part of those things we define as GODS not in any way divine.. Religions loose sight of things like faith, and salvation because they get lost in the defining of their own realities, their politics if you will and loose sight of what truly best serves god. …me I don’t want to be anything but maybe a priest and a friend ..and yes in my heart they are equal in footing …a friend tries to understand , to support and council you as wisely as she or he may be able. They walk with you along your path and try to help you interpret what you may see as you progress on the way. He should not judge you for in doing so condemns himself but should also never avoid helping you realize the consequences of your actions and decisions …you should NOT be inclined to want to avoid him on the street or not attend your communal times like at church or BBQ’s which is my favorite place. Truth is You should not be doing this with God” although many of us do …including the priest …and as such he knows your heart and can only do service and you sure as hell not do it with anything lesser than God and this he/ I am. Only by understanding you and helping …never judging can he truly validate his title of priest. It is this now that I seek to test …I am in reality only 300.00 away from legally donning a frock and collar …the only “law” or rule that withholds me from this now is the reality of my own truth and the sincerity of my desires along with my belief that I am strong enough to serve the needs of others without confusing them with my own …so if you have read this …what say you